Trying Day

 

 Good evening brothers and sisters and all fellow humans. Quite honestly it has been a very trying day. But before I forget…Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Today I want to share a health challenge. In 1995, almost 30 years ago, I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. I have followed doctor’s orders all these years, keeping my A1c labs within normal limits. Diabetes though is relentlessly destructive to all the systems of the body. About this time last year, my kidneys started to fail. I have about 50 % of normal function. Considering how long I have had diabetes, it’s rather remarkable that it’s not worse. With God’s hand on me, I still have some good years left. I trust Him implicitly and I know that no matter what disease affects my body, I will continue to live until God calls me home in His own timing. No matter what happens to us, or what terrifying challenges we face, we should not despair because God the father is big enough to handle all of it, no matter how hard it may seem to us. God is good ALL the time.  If there was one thing I could accomplish during whatever time I have left to serve, it would be to convince as many as possible of God’s inherent goodness, grace, and limitless love. How do I know these things, you might ask? Because I know His son, Jesus Christ. By knowing Jesus, I know God because they are the same.

Karen Butler Ogle

When Darkness Comes

 

 Despite being extraordinarily excited to be blogging again I have to say I am very tired after a long stressful day. I know we are all subject to days where everything is just a little bit harder, the world is a little colder, and the night a little darker. It is so easy to slide into a pit of despair and self-pity. It’s one of my unlovely habits. A wise man named Neil Anderson, who had a deliverance ministry a few years ago, used to say, “Don’t trust your feelings. Trust the Truth.” This had a profound effect on me when I heard it. Our feelings are so capricious but the Truth is set in stone. Jesus is the rock that can never be moved. I’m reminding myself of this tonight after a very difficult day. God is so good. He is so present. He is so faithful. He is the Truth and the Truth will never fail us. Thank you, Lord Jesus and blessings to all.

Karen Butler Ogle

New Beginnings

 

 Hello and many blessings to all who enter here. My name is Kary and I am a child of the living God. My purpose in creating this blog is to share my faith and spread the gospel of Jesus Christ to a deeply troubled and despairing world. I think most everyone will agree that we are living during frightening times, filled with violence and all manner catastrophic events. One thing we can be sure of is that things will continue to get worse with time. Jesus himself told us to expect it as a sign that His second coming is imminent. Yet, all is not lost as there is hope and salvation to be found in the death and resurrection of the Son of God. He offers us the free gift of eternal life and all we are required to do in return is to believe in His deity and love Him as He loves all of us. It truly is that simple. 

This first post was not intended to be a sermon. I have to admit that it has been many years since I had a blog and I’m out of practice. Practice in writing and sharing myself and my thoughts on God and faith is my secondary purpose in creating a blog. To be a writer, I have to write and hone my skills and hopefully develop my expression into something that might touch the heart of a reader. Not for my own pride or esteem but to bring glory to God the father, who gifted me with the desire to write and to serve him. Please feel free to visit again and share the journey with me.

Karen Butler Ogle

Waiting Can Be Heavy

"I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works;

 and that my soul knoweth right well.

Psalm 139:14

 From the time I was about eight years old I was the “fat girl.” During the 70s when all the young girls wanted to emulate Twiggy and her emaciated figure, I was a chubby, well-fed, healthy American girl. It was devastating, humiliating, and so heartbreaking to be called all those ugly names pre-teen girls unerringly find to call those who are different. I cried quietly and usually in private, never allowing them to see the pain on my face. My mother was no help. Worse, she was a hindrance. Overweight herself, she railed at me day after day about not being lazy and dragged me with her from one weight loss or exercise program to another. All were places fill with middle aged women and my being among them brought a lot hostile stares.

As the years passed, my weight ballooned higher and higher. By the time I had given birth to three children, divorced their dad, and remarried I had reached a frightening level of morbid obesity. My mid thirties had me tipping the scale at 350 pounds. It was not a joyful way to live. I was a devout Christian from childhood and I knew that God saw my overeating as abusing the healthy body He had given me; it was my own holy temple where His holy spirit dwelled within my heart. I was ashamed of my size, my appearance, my unsurprising poor health at such a young age. I found myself horrified at the reflection of myself in the mirror. 

When a major change comes to us, it is usually because there has been a reckoning. My reckoning came in the form of a precious gift from the heavenly father. My recently married daughter called me to say she and her husband were expecting a baby. I was ecstatic. Then I was desolate. How in the world, was I going to be able to help care for a grandchild when I was wheelchair bound due to excessive weight I could no longer carry alone? What would any Christian do? I got to my knees at the throne of grace and cried out to God. I pleaded for a pathway to better health. God is good! He heard me and answered me in his timing. This was not a new prayer. I had prayed for weight loss hundreds if not thousands of times. Why was this time different? I think only God may know why this was the right time to answer.

 His answer came in the form of weight loss surgery. I’d been watching videos for months and joined a website for people researching weight loss. As I made serious inquiries the pieces of a puzzling process seemed to fall together with almost no effort. That was definitely God’s hand at work. It wasn’t easy. The process took a full year. During that year, God stayed by my side. He was there through the surgery and He was there after it was over and when I came home with the strictest food regimen most people have ever seen. 

For the next four years, I logged every bite of food that went into my mouth. I logged the nutritional content of each bite as well. Eventually I reached, then exceeded my goal weight by 20 pounds. I was overjoyed. For a while. As time passed, something very startling became apparent. I was still miserable in my body. Life was still trying and difficult. I was healthier, yes, praise God for that, but to my astonishment the rest of my issues did not magically disappear. Getting my weight under control to conform to societal norms was a mistaken focus. Taking better care of my body was in God’s will for my life but conforming to the world’s standards in any way was not. In time I had to accept the actual truth of my weight and body and the truth is that my size didn’t matter. I was a child of God, created in His image and beloved by Him enough that He sent His son to die in my place. How enlightening and freeing that knowledge was to me! God had no trouble loving me no matter what I looked like or what size I was. I was the one who had failed at loving myself.

Hopefully, that is a lesson I learned well. I don’t worry so much about my weight anymore. I am somewhere in the middle ground between my highest weight and my lowest. I am comfortable in my body. Do I regret the years it took me to reach the understanding I have now? I don’t. I’m healthier than I was before surgery. What I do regret is how much time I wasted on myself trying to change things that were meaningless. None of it was who I really am or who God knows me to be. I could have been about my Father’s work instead, reaching out to the lost and hurting. God is so good. He can use anything, including mistaken thoughts or actions to teach us more about Him and His ways. 

“Before I formed thee in the belly, I knew thee.” Jeremiah 1:5

Dear Heavenly Father,

I humbly thank you for your presence in my heart and in my life. Without you, I am nothing. With you I am an heir with Christ Jesus and will be with you in heaven someday. Please, Lord please forgive my sin of vanity in seeking to improve on what you created. I understand now that you love me just as you made me.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

 Amen.

Karen Butler Ogle

 

 

Loss, Grieving, And Carrying On

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believeth on Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." 

John 3:16

I am almost 60 years old but I will never forget the first loss of a person who was part of my daily life. My grandfather, Dot was 64 and loved by all. When I turned 18 I moved in with him and my grandmother because things were bad for me at home. My grandparents are more responsible for who I am than my parents ever were. I adored them both. That summer, just after my high school graduation, Dot was in a car crash. Not serious but he hit his head on the steering wheel. A few days later, it was apparent that something was seriously wrong. He was admitted for testing and was soon diagnosed with small-cell lung cancer that had metastasized to his brain. It was gut-wrenching to hear and seemed to come completely out of a clear blue sky. I had no experience with cancer or death or what might come in between. I was included in the decision of whether or not to tell him. I was so young… and selfish. I wanted him to fight and I begged my dad and grandmother to let him decide for himself. No one told me that no matter what treatment he had, it wouldn’t be enough to save him. He was too far advanced. In the 1980s treatment wasn’t as effective as now. My sweet grandfather only survived 16 days of treatment. It was slow torture. Then the following days… arrangements, choosing a coffin, funeral, graveside, monument, and flowers. It was like a slow-motion slide show and I couldn’t wake up from the horror that this man I had known since birth was just GONE.  

I was so young, then. Young in my faith as well. There was more loss to come through the years. More wisdom to come. More acceptance to come. More faith to build with each loss, each trial, each heartbreak.

I have come to know that death is an inevitable part of life. Knowing that doesn’t make it easier to understand. My own maturity has helped me to grow more assured that my lost loved ones are with God the Father and that someday soon I will see them all again. I BELIEVE it with all my heart and soul.

Romans 8:38-39

“For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

I cling to this. And this:

Revelation 21:4

“And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.”

And this:

John 14:1-3

“Let not your heart be troubled. If you believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many mansions. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.”

Our God is a keeper of promises. We all have doubts at times about everything we have ever believed but God himself will give you the faith and endurance to stand strong in Him, through whatever might come to us or those we love. No matter what you are going through… no matter how dark your days may be… seek Him out. He is there waiting for you to need him and He brings with him the bright shining hope of eternal life and reunion with our loved ones. Embrace Him and never doubt.

Many Blessings.

Dear Father,

I am grateful for the sacrifice you made in sending your son to give his life in my place. I am unworthy of the gift you sent but you loved me enough to insure the possibility of seeing my loved ones again someday in your heavenly realm. I worship and praise you for a love incomparable to any other. 

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

Karen Butler Ogle

“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.” Psalm 23:1

 

Most of us are familiar with this verse of scripture. If you were raised in any church or Sunday School then you might have gotten a gold star from your teacher for memorizing this and the rest of the 23rd Psalm. How long though, has it been since we took this to heart instead of glossing over it with long familiarity as we humans sometimes do? Was there ever a time in your life when this verse came home to you, epically reminding you that God the Father is in control of supplying our daily needs, not just our physical needs but our emotional, spiritual, and mental health needs as well. All of these are in His hands and he gives to us lovingly and generously according to his plan for our individual lives. All he needs from us is belief and faith in his goodness.

There was a point a few years ago when God allowed circumstances to humble me to a place where I had to be completely dependent upon Him for every need. At the time, I was working as a live-in manager for a small hotel. The long hours, 15 hours a day, and no days off began to take its toll on my mental health. As a sufferer of an illness called Schizoaffective Disorder, I had been prone to bouts of depression and anxiety that sometimes required inpatient treatment. When the owner of the hotel realized my mental state he simultaneously fired me and told me to move everything I had from the premises. With the help of a friend, who stored my belongings and cared for my dog, I went into treatment. It was a therapy-intensive week with medication changes etc. Upon discharge from this facility known as the Crisis Stabilization Unit, I was terrified as there was nowhere for me to go. I spent the last day crying out to God in prayer, terrified of being homeless.  Believe me, if you haven’t been there, nothing is more humbling or degrading as knowing that no human being on earth cares enough about you to give you a warm, dry, safe place to sleep. 

As I prayed, peace began to steal over me. God loved me enough to provide anything I needed. I had some cash left from my last paycheck.  My friend, who was caring for my dog, picked me up. I explained my situation and told her the plan God gave me. I called a campground close to home and reserved a tent space. We shopped for a small tent and sleeping bag and what few essentials I would need. By nighttime, I was set up with basic necessities and had my dog back with me. The first night was scary,  but God the Father abided with me… as He abides with each one of us every day of our lives, whether we feel His presence or not. I shed my tears, but he dried them and comforted me. During my darkest times, God has always been there. 

One of my favorite quotes from a Christian author is “There is no pit so deep that God is not deeper still.” (Corrie Ten Boom.)

All told, I lived in tents for six months though circumstances and locations changed. Honestly, I haven’t had a real home since 2016. I currently live in an old camper without most basics.  No, it isn’t easy. Some days it’s hard indeed but no matter where we are, God is in control. He gives us what we need if not what we ask. We, humans, can often get by with much less than we believe we can. So what do I do on the days when everything seems completely intolerable and I feel the weight of burden on my shoulders? I remind myself that this earth is not my home and it never was. Heaven is my home and if you are a child of God it’s your home too no matter how hard or dark our walk on the earth becomes, God is with us every step of the way. Believe Him. He promised and He will never let you down.

Dear Father,

I get down on my knees and thank you from the depths of my heart for standing with me through all the dark troubles of my life. Though sometimes I felt alone the truth is that I was not alone and you were with me every step of the way. You ARE the truth and I know I can always count on you to be there whenever I have a need, and even when I don't. You are my constant companion and for that, I am so grateful.

In Jesus' precious name,

Amen.

Karen Butler Ogle